Wednesday, August 19, 2009
I hear the garbled sounds of memories; they hush me by like a gentle breeze;
The breeze is gone and fierce storms blow my wonted vaults and their assorted jeweleries.
Contradictions of various mathematical possibilities leave me flat and hung.
Notions of freedom leave me trapped and all these I sought to reveal or find during my natural born years.
The hair I play with today thins;
The knuckles I crack wrinkles;
The eyes staring me back hollows in empty delight.
Knowing me today is no more familiar than knowing me yesterday.
These woeful songs would have you beguiled and fooled.
The treachery of our minds are just the tip of the mail-berg;
For the base stays grounded in drama and the ensuing hullabaloo is all a part and parcel of our own karma.
There is nothing more left to seek;
There is nothing more left to heed.
I look at me in the pupils of my eyes!
They glisten back inundated with lingering hurtful memories of causes that have resulted in innumerable bruises.
“What did you want, My Sun?”
“Meaning, I guess”
“What kind of meaning, My Moon?”
“The kind that satisfies curiosity, restlessness, boredom, yearning, desire, vanity and emptiness I guess”
“And where did you suppose you’d find them, My Celestial Star?”
“In books, in knowledge, in history, in travels and in love”
“And did you, My Dear Immortal?”
“I thought I did. In the beginning there was curiosity, then there was longing and finally there was the experience”
“And you found the meaning, My Dear Seeker?”
“Are you still looking for it, My Fearless Warrior?”
“And why not? My Wealthy Landlord?”
“Because it’s everywhere”
“And did that insight help, My Liege?”
“No. It did not”
“Why not, My Master?”
Because my questions were wrong;
Because the basis of my wandering itself was conceived in ignorance:
Because my yearning for love was fueled by hatred:
Because my very accumulation of knowledge was founded on brittle sticks of ignorance.
I had not known how to love because I had never abandoned the selfishness I carried with such smugness.
I read the sutras and it gave me pride;
I read the classics and they gave me knowledge;
I traveled far and wide and that gave me mileage;
I made good company with females and that left me inflated;
I lived because I needed to do all of that again;
And that made me sad.
I wasn’t alone, I was lonely.
You see, love I echoed aplenty and recognized none;
Today I reap the fruits of my indolence;
Today I taste the bitterness of my nectar;
Today wisdom peeps and my knowledge shudders;
Today truth beckons and I freeze;
Today I’m learning to live with unease.
"Well. Now You Know, My Son, Now You Know!"