Shabdrung:-
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Minnesota Musings
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Shabdrung:-
Midday Confusion
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My being is this. Legs crossed, back stretched…fingers twitching to write, hearing a dog bark in the distance…it’s Sunday evening…I am with my friend…we don’t know where we will be going next. I don’t ask and he doesn’t tell. I want to write something about this moment…I’m thinking hard…I think I shouldn’t be thinking so hard to write about something that simply is.
“He was a bum then, he is a bum now”
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You’d like to believe there is no lying in him. But he lies even when he tells the truth. Why, just the other day, he said the sole reason he was in the political business was because he cared too much about the common folk. Now that he’s got what he wanted (the license to pillage, approved for by the common folk as he sees it) he’s out there doing what he does best. Mull over issues that concern more of his own egoistic whims rather than the common good he professed and vowed to upkeep. There is certainly no lying in him, when he says that that mission was sanctioned for by the number of votes he had collected. In other words, the people had told him, “Do as you please.”
All you can say is, “he was a bum then, he is a bum now.”
All you can say is, “he was a bum then, he is a bum now.”
All you can say is, “he was a bum then, he is a bum now.”
All you can say is, “he was a bum then, he is a bum now.”
Like she said to her son, “you were a bum then and you are a bum now!”
There was certainly no lying in her.
Ps: YourLustForLifeStartsRightNow!
The Midnight Swami
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I just cannot sit still. I'm feeling the Delta blues and i'm feeling the Himalayan blues. I feel trapped. I feel claustrophobic. The time has come. I'm going insane folks...i'm officially going bonkers! I'd like to blame it on the Sun and the intense heat but fuck! i ain't gonna lie to myself.
This wouldn't be the first time i've gone off the rader, the wagon or the hornet i drive. There is that time once every couple of years, months or weeks where you just go "off."
I'm fucking "off!"
"Broaden your horizon and look at what you've" would be the sages' advice and they'd be right.
I clasp my hands together and sigh out long and loud. I'm depressed i can't bring my son over for the summer holidays and my head's just numbed. I rack my brains for a solution and there's nothing in sight.
Then i wonder if life's worth all these disappointments we go through. Images of sages i've read and heard about tempt me with their version of life. The choices they'd made seem so fucking simple, naked, logical and true. The more you've the more you've gotta protect and preserve.
Tagore chases the man away. The man leaves Tagore's compound laughing. Tagore cannot sleep the whole night. He's bothered to the bone. The next morning Tagore takes a walk and sees a muddy pool with a bathing buffalo in it. The Sun's rays are reflected by the soiled pond. Tagore recognises the pure sunshine in the dirty swamp and poetry flows out of him, spontaneously.
Somewhere a man is watching the spectacular "Niagara Falls" and dysentery flows out of him, spontaneously, says the swami. There is laughter after the anecdote's doled out. I'm not quite sure i understood everything the swami said. I'm not even sure my recollection's accurate.
But the point was this: Live without fear or favor. Live without assurances and guarantees. Live without doubt or regret. Face your fears; your expectations and disappointments and do it all right now. Not a minute later or a minute sooner but right now.
Our traditional Buddhist skull has this taunting look of knowing-ness in its face: It holds two lotus flowers in its teeth and there's a phrase accompanying it. It reads thus:
To Look into the Face of Death- To Live and Die Without Regrets.




