Cover of The Men Who Stare At GoatsIts been a couple of weeks, nay, a couple of months, since I been coming here, sitting on my arse watching this blog appear with nothing to write. The white blanker looks at me - we exchange stares like two boxers before a fight. And I'm the one who's been waving the white flag and throwing in the towel. I like the place I been recently residing in - it's called the "Writer's Block" and I'm the neighborhood sentry. Even the user name's got a "Looking for Godot" feel about it.
"Whereintheworldisjurmichhowing?" is what I gotta type in and as far as I can tell, he's not there.
Isn't life like a "Box of Chocolates" at times like these? Really man! If irony was a rubber you could stretch it 80*8000,000,000 around the world and still be gone. I'm teaching, apparently, creative writing for little kids in a Middle Secondary School. Today I went pre-historic on their arse; thought I'd let them know about the cave-man's communication. One kid said "they wrote stuff down through their drawings." That never occurred to me. Of course they did - drew the animals they hunted and told us they tasted good. Then I went reed and papyrus on their little cerebellums, followed by quills and inks. But the little buggers do me proud; no matter what I threw at them, they came back and threw in the gauntlet with words like "Information", "Communication", "Discussion" etc. It was enough to make me go back to my "Writer's Block", enter in via "whereintheworldisyourhead?" and find myself eye-boxing with the electronic screen-er.
Now that I find myself with no material with which to impress my digital viewers and readers, I've been shamelessly digging in the archives and retrieving those rotten old dead fish - serving them anew on a platter! Forgive me folks, I guess a man is allowed a crime or two every once in a while.
I'm not a criminal but the thought of slogging when it comes to the blogging gets me nagging, begging, conniving, contriving, gesticulating, cranking, hankering and thieving.
(You should see how long a break I took between writing this line and the ramble above). But I'm no slouch either, you see, I crack up my knuckles, bind them in a stretched out fist of fury and kick start that whole "Men Who Stare at Goats" routine. Tomorrow I'm going "Cloud Bursting" and the day after that I'm gonna demolish that "Writer's Block" with a Komatsu Keypad.
And then there are all these authors - from White Tigers to Chromosomes in the neighborhood to that Dan guy who can link up and see the interconnectedness of tunnels and triangles everywhere in Western Europe before you can say "Fvck!"
And before you shrug, sneer and snap at me I bid you all adieu! (The SOB has indeed logged out, shut down and left the Cyber Bloc). Cheers Amigos!