Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Shit happens & You gotta Find the Loo

If familiarity breeds contempt; get the fvck outta my way and should distance make the heart grow fonder fondle yourself- and if you still pint for what’s not... you’ve got a big appetite you basturd. As you cant always get what you want... with exceptions such as Keith, Homer and Alfred E Neuman. Now followed by an off-key karaoke rendition of I can’t get no satisfaction in pubs by adults with puberty attachments...

Now if mozzies make malarial breeding diseases the pharmaceuticals wont find a cure for; and distance ‘twixt Point A and B is more than a muter of skyrocketing unaffordable airmiles; its then a basketcase of socioeconomical bankruptcy causing terminal blockades for emotional conniving and the lack of bodily warmth… guess you can blame Global Warming and the weather forecasters the Elements have a glee time watching whenever they are on with Farenheits and Celsiuses, Tides and Typhoons, Tsunamis and Quakes and that revolutionary weathered map at the back with LSD projections.

If there’s a Rupee crunch, why not get the jingling coins out and play Khopee… or just good ol’ Nu’s and Yeas,?

Be hopeless by all means. But keep the hope on the hop, and keep it guessing.

Tomorrow never comes but indulge yourself anyways.
What’s done cannot be undone but keep doing it anyhow cos' you don't wanna be the Odd-One out; and if you were, nobody would care.

An idle mind is a devil’s workshop but boy isn’t that fun! You get busy- just ask the junkies and going by that, its a tête-bêche; ask the Richie Riches that hinge on and on about the ongoing glories and legacies created ad hoc by living legendary dads. Ask the Got a Lotta Money fresh trouts who've grown big and wanna make that point obvious, failing which they'll impose their latest gadgets on yer face. When that happens, pop up the Middle Finger- it helps the balance of things and you hear a grateful gravity relieving a huge sigh of relief.
Misery loves company and there’s good news; you’ll always have sore company. Conversely, its still bad news. You're on iCloud with all of Jobs' bitten apples and the company of merry men never ceases. How they mysteriously vanish when the apples go rotten is a subject best put forth to the afro-mentioned-most definitely stoned weathermen.

It does matter whether you’re Black or White- ask the Himalayan Black Bear or the Polar Bear, or failing their animalistic lingua franca, ask the KKK and their Yin and Yang alter ego, the Black Panthers..
Every journey starts with a single heavy step mentally masturbated a million times by a Chinese immigrant clandestinely tailed by an Indian, or a Sub-Continental from said region, or a african or the Real Estate Wanna Be Bhutanese.

The journey is the destination is inaccurate when you’re famished…starving… all hunger and no food.
Beauty is skin deep; the rest is knee jerk reaction followed by spontaneous erections.

Curiosity didn’t kill the cat, your neighbor did.
What doesn’t kill you at first will surely kill you the second time, and the third…

Whether the dog wags his tail or vice versa is the dog giving us the F-U! And the cat's purr is really a swear. The chap who shits on the plate that feeds him is a psycho with a Graphic Case of Catastrophic Diarrhea.

Love is blind… and time consuming; and expensive; and and… and… well just ask the lovesick at the Nesting ICU. On that lore- If hearts are constantly breaking, use a different raw material not Made in China.
Keep the Faith is an overrated song and Rap is Crap just as Cowboys are really Gay- Listen to the Lyrics.
The Carpenters don't appreciate furniture. What moss wants to gather a rolling stone and what stone on the roll wants a moss? She's shriveling, shrinking and bodily vanishing.
Between a rock and a hard place could be kinda cozy, private, spacious, beached… check out Keith Richards' pad, crib (a blatant fvckin attack, mockery and plain old insult to the Hand-to-Mouth and No-Hands majority).

Money’s not the only thing in life; it’s everything… Don't ask; check out every greedy merchant, trader, businessman and their priests; the brass bracket and politicians from here to Kimbuktu and back around the globe.
Same old shit is not a whiner… it’s the truth confessed to from the Pope down to the Mop gathering dust from your shagged out roomful of vanities.

Once bitten twice shy depends on what bit ya… and here's hoping it wasn't G Michael> that WHAMED bloke.

Tomorrow never comes cos you’re asking that today- Tomorrow never dies is the evidence- watch the movie for confirmation or call 007 (Its NOT TOLL FREE).

You can have your cake and bake it too at a reasonable price down in Sibsu- a 50 yeared Bakery speacializing in One Single Recipe- a Cake.

Don’t wake up the man who sleeps just cos you cannot get a goodnight’s dose cos' his Sleeping Pills worked and your's did not.
One man’s poison is also another man’s burial. One man’s medicine, however, is his own.

By all means, procrastinate, delay, and come off time- we live in the sub-continent.
Honesty is the best policy when you’ve none.
If you wanna wet your beak, head for the river, the stream, brook, creek, swamp, tap or get a mouth…. Beaks are for winged creatures.

I refused the offer that couldn’t be refused. Don Corleone just sat confused.
The monkey on your back is not a metaphor… it’s a gray languor that'll grab your hair and pull its root out just when you're sensitive about the Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow expression you wanna depress….

In his own house, every man is a dickhead dulled by a wife…
The glass is neither half nor full… its just a glass.
Everything that glitters should be checked out. if its gold, gloat; If its shards of glass, curse.
Beauty lies in the eyes of the leach leeching at ya…
I cannot take a care; I’d rather take a beer.
Home is where the problem is.

Look before you leap to see how far you gotta jump, and then fall in head first. Scratch where it itches and keep the rashes alive. And remember man who goes to bed with itchy bum wakes up to smelly finger he claims wasn't his shit.

The silver lining is more than an expression- it’s a true-myth that can be spotted in certain Scandinavian countries when you fly Scandinavian Airways; just as the pot of gold at either end of the rainbow is really a mine mugged in by Ethical Merchants with a Philanthropic Bum . At the rate quotes are reproduced, everyone on this planet will have a job in the textile manufacturing industry. And really, an eye for an eye is the real deal cos you’ll always have a pair to blind you at the Light enlightening your existence. The golden goose that lays the gilded coin is now too old to drop an egg- so enjoy the shriveled BBQ. Sure you shouldn’t judge a book by its cover, you just watch the movie. The grass is greener on the other side cos you’re high man, high and in that frame, you cannot be fooled- whether once, twice or a bloody lifetime so long as the stash is in continuous supply. Don't get high on your own supply is the most un-exercised line and Never underestimate the other guy's greed is the one most implemented.

The bread can be buttered both ways- get two slices, grease the shit and you’ve got it in your gab. The biggest trick the devil pulled and blah blah is an ongoing dialogue between the devil and god. Its ongoing cos there’s no one refereeing the shit. You can always say I told you so cos its just a short sentence made infamous by the renowned philosopheress Paris Hilton. 

Ask not what your country can do for ya cos your country will fvck it all up and killya like they did the guy who said that shit and you wind up watching and crying Shawshank Redemption for the umpteenth time- ask GW Bush.

If time flies clip its wings. And what bugger goes spitting at the sky?
The proverbs and expressions you use were words of pain from the womb of reality uttered by destitute folks who really fvcked the shit up. And on that note, stop quoting dead people- they tend to make comebacks as zombies.
Every dog has his day. Today is Tuesday so it’s again another dogged dog’s day. 
The lucky boners!

In conclusion, say what yu mean meanly and mean what you say sayingly. 
Mi Poster de Homer
Mi Poster de Homer (Photo credit: #_Gwen_#)
Now don’t cry over spilled milk; its probably gone sourgrapes and that keeps the cows happy. Reminds me, what time do they come home cos I gotta hear the missing fat lady come in and holler an encore ‘cos shit happens and you gotta find the loo.
And lastly- the early bird is a bloody jogger!

PS: YourLustForLifeStartsRightNow!
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Peldhen Sonam Nima said...

nice piece....Aue Jurmi.....

Jurmi Chhowing said...

Thanks is overrated but thanks nonetheless :)

Lakey said...

Interesting and entertaining!

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