The 13th Ride: Aggie Rider's Final Cut

Brr...It’s cold; it’s freezing cold. It is 6:00am. I am still debating whether I should participate in this motorcycle ride to Sibsoo. I am at the clubhouse by 7:00 am. The motorcycle ride is scheduled to start at 7:30 am. Pale Rider, our club president, has been waiting for the past half-hour along with X-Rider. I am the first member to show up. Shit! Shit!it is going to start like all our past rides – LATE. Think all our riders need to get watches and rename our club to “Never on time Dragon”.The members start showing up eventually; we hear all the excuses in book. “All right, gather around” says Pale Rider. We get the usual pep talk and then somebody notices Bap Rider, our Sergeant-at-Arms, is missing. We are already an hour late and decide to start the ride sans Bap Rider.We are late but the sun is going to be out and that is good; that is really good. The temperature should be bearable now.

We start our ride to Sibsoo. Everything about motorcycling is going through my head. I am thinking of all the clichés; Freedom, Rebels, One with the Machine. It actually felt quite good imaging me, a rebel with tattoos wearing a half leather jacket taking it to the man. Well, it felt quite good until around 10 minutes into the ride. Fuck, fuck, fuck..a slight change; a rebel wearing winter gear with a running nose under the motorcycle helmet. Forget taking it to the man, I need to wipe my nose. Wish these motorcycles came along with heaters. Bloody motorcycle designers, do I need to think of everything?

Riding on the road felt pretty good. Accelerating, slowing down, and taking the twists and turns felt exhilarating. I was glad for the windy Bhutanese roads that prevented us from riding any faster. The sub-zero wind would have frozen my testiclesinto popsicle sticks. We stop to eat about 2 hours into the ride. Like always, we stop over at the dirtiest and shadiest place we come across. Hey, we are bikers now; it is expected. Terrible food, drinks that could have removed the rust out of steel but we gulp it down somehow; again, hey our biker’s stomach is expected to handle it.Dirty shady place; Check. Terrible food and drinks; Check. The only thing missing; wild bikini clad women dancing on table tops. Another 4 hours and we are almost down south in Phuentsholing. We remove our winter gear on one of our pit stops. I am now in my half leather jacket. Getting close to looking like a real biker. All I need now is a tattoo of a naked woman on my left arm and the words “Ride Fast, Die Hard” on my other arm. More twists and turns; more accelerating and slowing down. Shortly after, we are in Phuentsholing. Cool Rider, Steel Rider and Jigs Rider have been waiting over half a day. “You guys are fucking late” they say, “but that is alright, we are Dragons and we are always late”. We stop over at an even dirtier place and head on to Sibsoo... RIDE TO LOVE, LOVE TO RIDE! PS: YourLustForLifeStartsRightNow!

Spacing Out

***Handle invasion of privacy, let go of the desire to control and overcome grief.

I am a loving mother and a busy professional with two grown-up children who are successful professionals, too. I have a peculiar problem of invasion of privacy. My daughter, who is 38, reads all the letters, emails and phone messages, diary jottings and any other communication I have with my friends. Both my children are single and live with me and my husband. I have no dark secrets, but I find this terribly annoying. Despite repeatedly telling her that this does not behoove a lady, she continues this disgusting habit. Do you think she is insecure about something? How do I deal with this? My husband cannot help in this as he, too, does the same — reads all communication I have with my friends! Please help. — Mahalakshmi, Tamil Nadu This is strange behavior, but the root isn’t insecurity — it’s hostility. Your daughter is showing aggression against you. In so doing, she is siding with her father, so the problem is a tangled family matter. Families often end up doing strange things behind the walls of their house, because when no one from the outside is there for a reality check, all kinds of unsocial and antisocial behaviors flourish. To end this intrusion into your private life requires several things: Stand up for yourself and stop being the victim. Examine why you feel a need to let two people walk all over you. Stop making excuses. Your privacy is a right, not a suggestion that others can reject at will. Confront the power struggle that is going on inside your house. Your husband and daughter have seized all the power, making you the outsider. In a psychologically healthy household, your husband would recognize that you are his primary relationship, not his daughter. Put a time limit on change. If your daughter doesn’t stop within a week, tell her she must find a new place to live. Seek an outside ally to help you if you feel too weak or insecure to carry out the above-mentioned steps. Find someone with a strong, reliable moral sense. Stand back and see if you can find resources to bring normality back to three troubled relationships. My 30-year-old son is dating a girl with a poor reputation. She is known to have ‘flings’ with rich boys. I am shocked to learn that he is doing so just to have a ‘good time’. He said so himself. My pleadings to him to stop seeing her are falling on deaf ears. I am distraught. How can I ignore something that I know is not doing my son any good? —Mary Patrick, Kolkata Two psychological factors are at work here, and I’m sorry to say that neither works on your behalf. The first factor is that people are goaded to do things when someone else tells them not to, especially a parent. The second factor is over-mothering. Your son is 30. If he wants to take up jet skiing, attend burlesque shows, and collect poisonous snails, it’s entirely his business, not yours. Try to find a more appropriate outlet for your motherly concerns. Helping a poor child or working at a social charity would be a good step. Your good intentions are misplaced right now.

I am a happy person and love my family and friends. I have not harmed anyone as far as I know. Yet I have experienced great tragedies in life including losing a teenaged child to illness and another to the tsunami. Why is God being so unkind? I know you will say it is previous karma but I don’t buy that. —Vimala Sengupta, Pune If a divine messenger told you that it was past karma (not the answer I would give) or that God simply wanted to show disfavor, would you actually feel better? Your sense of being cursed is real. It’s a way of holding on to grief rather than moving on. You will be healed when the questioning stops, not when you get an answer. Let me express my deep sympathy for your loss. I’m sure every reader feels the same. The grieving process isn’t simple or short. It does you no good to hear words like ‘move on.’ When grief is present, it dominates the mind and emotions. But it would help you to engage in the process if you are able to. Otherwise, grief gets stuck in the heart and becomes a wound. I would hate to see this happen to you. Get in touch with others who have lost family in the tsunami. Find a trusted confidante who has been through grief and knows that it can be healed. I realize that you feel isolated. This is not the road to healing. Only by letting other people in and confronting your pain can you find a way out. I hope these words have helped, or will help in the near future.

PS: YourLustForLifeStartsRightNow!

SIBSOO RIDE – The UnCut Version By Aggie Rider

Brr... It’s cold; it’s fucking cold. It is 6:00 am and I am still debating whether I should participate in this motorcycle ride to Sibsoo. I am at the clubhouse by 7:00 am and the motorcycle ride is scheduled to start at 7:30 am. Pale Rider, our club president, has been waiting for the past half-hour along with X-Rider and I am the first member to show up. Shit! Shit! it is going to start like all our past rides – LATE. Think all our riders need to get watches. The members start showing up eventually; and we hear all the excuses in book. “All right, gather around” says Pale Rider. We get the usual pep talk and then somebody notices, Bap Rider, our Sergeant-at-Arms, is missing. We are already an hour late and decide to start the ride sans Bap Rider. We are late but the sun is going to be out and that is good; that is really good. The temperature should be bearable now.

We start our ride to Sibsoo. Everything about motorcycling is going through my head. I am thinking of all the clichés; Freedom, Rebels, One with the Machine. It actually felt quite good imaging me, a rebel with tattoos wearing a half leather jacket taking it to the man. Well, it felt quite good until around 10 minutes into the ride. Fuck, fuck, fuck.. a slight change; a rebel wearing winter gear with a running nose under the motorcycle helmet. Forget taking it to the man, I need to wipe my nose. Wish these motorcycles came along with heaters. Bloody motorcycle designers, do I need to think of everything?

Riding on the road felt pretty good. Accelerating, slowing down, and taking the twists and turns felt exhilarating. And thank you for the windy Bhutanese roads, it does not allow you to ride any faster; riding any faster would have frozen my testicles. We stop to eat about 2 hours into the ride. Like always, we stop over at the dirtiest and shadiest place we come across. Hey, we are bikers now and it is expected. Terrible food, terrible drinks but we gulp it down somehow; again, hey, our biker’s stomach is expected to handle it. Dirty shady place; tick. Terrible food and drinks; tick. The only thing missing; wild bikini cladded women dancing on table tops. Another 4 hours and we are almost down south in Phuentsholing. We remove our winter gear on one of our pit stops. I am now in my half leather jacket. Getting close to looking like a real biker. All I need now is a tattoo of a naked woman on my left arm and the words “Ride Fast, Die Hard” on my other arm. More twists and turns; more accelerating and slowing down; and before I know it we are in Phuentsholing. Cool Rider, Steel Rider and Jigs Rider have been waiting over half a day. We stop over at an even dirtier place and head on to Sibsoo... RIDE TO LOVE, LOVE TO RIDE.

PS: DEAR A RIDER- PLZ. DO CONTINUE! LOVED THE START-UP… NOW BRING IN THE REST AND KEEP WRITING! GRINNINGLY, TOXIC… PPS: YourLustForLifeStartsRightNow!