It’s taken me a long time, nay, a needlessly long time (and here I refer the life I’ve had, including the ones I can’t recollect), in linear time and space, to come here to this moment of lucidity. A clarity where finally one small nonetheless irredeemable aspect screams and demands total attention- and that is this: the outer world of your life and the inner space of your being are rife with messages instructing you to renounce that residence and rent.
Inwardly what have you known since you became aware of the existence of choice and freedom?
The choices you’ve had have only ever let you down and brought you to this moment of sheer angst and utter dejection.
Think about it honestly. You’re either momentarily pleased with your-self and the good-fortune you’ve had in living such a life of abundance and fulfilment. If you’re living in this zone you’re, for the time being, reaping the fruits of plenty from a storehouse of gathered merits that are fast depleting its stock even as we speak. In this realm of the gods life is seemingly great.
Seemingly. Imaginatively. Comparatively. Deluded- We know naught and carry-on.
Your life is an excess. There’s too much of everything. The prison of abundance is still a prison. Making a choice is a discriminating affair. The freedom to choose constricts the person of choice. A man of worldly means ends his life calculating his gains. If that. His losses are nothing compared to the loss of the chance to forsake it all.
Give it up. Be without choice. Free from worldly freedom- We hear but we do not heed.
The man on the other end of this line harbors all the luxuries that have consumed the godly-life. He wants to choose. Scratch his head in glee. He wants options. Every meal a buffet. He lives hankering after the things of the world. He labors. He toils. He plots. He plans. He saves. He gives up what he could never buy- simplicity and its rewarding contentment. Choice complicates. Freedom restricts.
He wants to lock up what he doesn’t possess. When what he’s blessed with doesn’t need any safeguarding. But you can’t see your own face. Thus devaluing an inborn truth, he saves to buy that which robs him off and jails him in.
Stop in your tracks. Surrender it all. Submit to your-self- We hear but we fear.
Those of us living in middle-earth go both ways. We are either up there on our way down or down there shoving our way up. Thus our lives are done pushing and pulling.
And then a bell goes off and finally we want peace.
We want peace. We pursue happiness. We demand love.
To begin with, want of anything is a loss. What’s the point in filling up one want with another? Invariably today’s want is tomorrow’s loss. That is if tomorrow comes at all. Why chase happiness? Is happiness a race? Is it a goal? Has it ever been yours? Did it escape someplace? Now does it live somewhere out there where it can be reached? Pursued? Followed? Prized? Wanted?
Love maybe in demand but the supply is choked. Who demands love anyways? Is it hidden? Has it been kidnapped? Imprisoned? Vaulted? Banked? Why demand love? Are these things somewhere out there that we can reach them someday and bring them home with us on a bus?
The inner life of frustration, agitation, limitation, irritation, aggression, passion, division, multiplication, repetition, seduction, desolation, distraction, habituation, condition, isolation, discrimination, attention, exhibition, revolution, rotation, lamentation and all are plainly reflected in the outer world of politics, government, education, corporation, business, ideology, violence, war, class, caste, race, sex, alienation, subjugation and the like. These are reflected on an hourly, daily, weekly, monthly, yearly showcases of unrelenting bombardments mirrored in mass-media, almost breathlessly.
There’s no respite and that’s the key. The world is a picture-perfect postcard reflection of the state of man. The state of man is the state of the world. What’s the difference, really? If a man’s body is a result of his mental-being then his house is a good indicator to his preferences, characteristics, qualities, eccentricities, perks, quarks, and the like. The condition of the earth is the condition of man.
The message is obvious. The world is a mess. Man is a mess. Finally some good news!
The world tells me now more than ever what I’d always suspected- you cannot live in harmony with it unless you’ve understood it. To understand it you must first renounce it. Leave it. Let it go. Let it be.
I don’t understand it. Never did. But never say never. But I’m giving it a chance. I’m letting it go.
To make that renunciation complete man must first ponder- What makes a man a man? There’s something awfully wrong with most of our mental projections. We can’t feel at-home with domestic violence. Another blatant pointer inviting you to investigate!
In a way everything that’s wrong with you is helping you grasp the reality of renunciation. To let go of the passion. The aggression. The hatred. The jealousy. The insane competitiveness. The bottom-line dejection.
All these states are pointing their collective-finger to renunciation. Abandonment. Acknowledgment. With the sole motive of understanding it all. From whence it arises. Where it goes. What is it? So that one telling moment on a revealing day in one fortunate life you can finally rest at ease and peace with your-self and the world.
The bones in my body are painted in red graffiti. As is the flesh. The message is clear- Anarchy. I’ve been a rebel without a clue. Now I know. I’ve to track-back. Retrace. Rediscover my-self. Get to know-me. Figure out this puzzle that’s been going on for way too many lifetimes. I’ve been a loyal slave to the ego. A faithful sidekick to distraction. Addicted to distortion. A most reliable servant to desire. A good foot soldier to aggression. An unfailing judge.
I now retire. Consider this my resignation. No severance-allowances demanded. We are quits. Even-Steven. I’m done playing the game of shadows. I’m done playing the game. Period. There’s nothing sporty. My show’s over. Curtain calls. Until I meet my maker, I’m rejecting all calls. No make-overs. No make-ups. No more mask-dances. This is it. Like the singer sings- If not now, then when?
If not now, then when?